I felt a strong sense of control over my body’s stress reactions today. By simply envisioning my heart unfolding and relaxing, I was able to release anxiety and negative emotions multiple times throughout the day.
When I sat down to meditate it only took a matter of seconds (as compared to the usual minutes) to let my muscles relax and get to a place of calm and settled.
I also practiced using my words to communicate more clearly the things I was feeling. It was stress-inducing and did not feel completely natural, but it did feel good to just express without placing expectations on other people’s responses or placing some kind of value on myself based on responses.
This all reminded me of that John Mayer song ‘Say What You Need To Say’…
Have no fear for givin’ in
Have no fear for givin’ over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than to never to say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shakin’
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closin’
Do it with a heart wide open
A wide heart
Say what you need to say
It’s easier to approach communication with others when I realize that by being exactly who I am and saying exactly the things I need to express, I will attract to me exactly the people who fit what I need regardless of the nature of my relationship with them – friend, lover, co-worker, mentor.
So if I express and move about in the way that feels most natural and true to who I am at my core and someone doesn’t respond to me in kind – it won’t matter. They are not who I’m seeking and I am not who they seek. Period. Nothing personal. And no wasted time because…
What you seek is seeking you.
Now it’s just a matter of continuing to practice expressing myself in the most clear way possible by using the words that most closely match my intentions.
I’m definitely envious of people who have always been able to align their communications with what they’re really feeling. But hey.. we all have our thing, right?
It’s weird to realize that a large portion of my shadow work is really focused on learning how to express my needs verbally. Being a writer, you’d think that I’d have no problem at all using words to express ideas, but I’m finding that’s not the case.
Where I thought I was being clear before, I realize now that I was actually containing, packaging, filtering, and masking in an effort to protect myself from rejection. So even though it feels unnatural and uncomfortable, I am now committed to expressing myself in the most simple and straightforward way that I’m capable.
† I attract the relationships that perfectly suit my higher good.