Today’s intention was to hold in awareness the light that is inside of us. I meditated once in the morning before work, and then again for thirty minutes in the hot yoga studio before class began.
It wasn’t easy to stay present in my body today, but I kept at it. As reward, I had two or three moments of breakthrough that lasted a few minutes each, where I felt extremely grateful and relaxed.
The more I slow down, the more clearly I’m experiencing both positive and negative emotions.
I’m more acutely aware of loneliness because I’m spending more time by myself, and I’m more aware of joy, because I’m learning how to relish in it.
I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.
In yoga this evening, I really let myself completely experience the feeling of surrender and relaxation in the two brief breaks we took throughout the class. I let my body go completely lax and kept my mind blank except to enjoy each full breath and the way it felt to let the floor hold all my weight.
I didn’t think about how hard the poses before had been, or how sweaty I was, or how much the next pose was going to challenge me. I just soaked in the sweetness of the breaks as they came.
† Be the light.
As for where I feel right now with the meditation challenge – it’s not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be, but it’s not nearly as easy. Letting go of old ways of processing information requires constant dedication and that’s a challenge for sure. But the part that’s most challenging for me is recognizing that there has been a better way to move through the world this whole time I’ve been alive and I’m only now figuring it out – that’s the tough part because it’s hard not to feel like there’s been so much wasted time.
I know, I know… Let it go. But still.. I mean. It still sucks a little. Let’s be honest 😉