shadow work

rock bottom take 2

By December 1, 2012 No Comments

rainrain for days. just rain and rain and rain.
things break down and wash away.

I felt so proud of myself for navigating through the breakup and the move with stability and relative calm. I was beginning to feel like maybe I could have normal again. Then today, I lost the last thing left in my day-to-day routine that could tie me to a sense of belonging to some place. My job.

gone.

and so quickly i’m thrown right back into a state of shock. pain and pressure pushing out from beneath my ribs. brain tired as fuck but can’t sleep. heart physically aching.

kick in the teeth
stab in the back
smack in the head
boot in the ass
poke in the eye

fell down
stood up
smiled
punched in the teeth
shut up you
you don’t get to be happy
you shut the fuck up and lose

caught up? feeling stable again?
not if we can help it

you stay back
did you forget?
you don’t get to win